Sunday, January 6, 2008

I Hate Ohio

Okay, that might be a little too strong. But, I hate driving through Ohio. Just to put the following in perspective, I drove cab for a year, and, currently, I commute 60 miles, one way, to work every day. Therefore, I think I know something aboud proper driving. For Christmas, I had to drive through Ohio from Cincinnati to Pennsylvania via Cleveland. Most of the time, the whole state is under construction. This time, however, the state was relatively free from long, one-lane bottlenecks. But, with that much highway work going on, you'd think they would have enough lanes on the interstates, but, apparently, Ohio's senators are idiots who can't get their state enough highway dollars. I particularly like how there will be six lanes in the middle of farmland, but this necks down to four lanes when you get close to Cincinnati or Columbus (until you're about five miles away). What kind of idiot designed this system? The biggest pain in my ass this trip was not the one lane of interstate, but the idiot drivers. Apparently, nobody driving though Ohio uses their cruise control. And, passing somebody is considered questioning their manhood (this applies equally to women). People in Ohio like to drive in the fast lane, even when they're driving below the speed limit. It took me a while to figure out that I had to do a great deal of passing on the right. However, as soon as you start to pass somebody, the idiot rabbits up to 90, cuts in front of you, and then slows down to 55. What, exactly, is the thought process here? Nobody but nobody maintains a consistent speed -- so much for saving gas and also allowing the other drivers know what you're going to do, idiots. To add insult to injury, on one of the few stretches of three, northbound lanes, I had to drive under the speed limit for an hour because a smartass cop was driving slowly and no idiot would just pass him (I couldn't make my way to the front, or I would have passed his idiotic ass) -- what a bunch of idiots. Think about it -- an hour of traffic backed up behind this jerk. Finally, I made the mistake of having a "Keep Christ in Christmas" magnet on the back of my car. Apparently, I was just begging to be routinely cut off by every idiot on the road. I try to be a good guy, but I really don't do the whole meak thing very well. I'm afraid I said some rather unChristian things to my fellow travelers who were doing their level best to kill me.

Speaking of which, don't get me started on the two idiots from Michigan (one on the way up and one one the way back) who tried to run my family and me off the road.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hate Ohio as well. The people can't drive down there they think they are bad and are very rude. I went there a few times to pick up a friend of mine when she would go see her mom. I do have to say her family and a bunch of Ohio people wanted to start a fight with me yeah right they didn't get a chance they are scared of us WV people. So Ohio people need to back off and stay in Ohio and start trouble with other people I dare them to come here or any state and start trouble. I also noticed I had stuff stolen from two of my friends bestfriends Ohio people like to rob people blind as well I guess it seems like they can't get a job and buy stuff they gotta sit around do crack and take peoples stuff. And when your online they wanna make fun of your state where your from and crack jokes I noticed that alot. They have no life I guess !

Anonymous said...

live in Ohio and I can say without a doubt that if you want to raise your children somewhere, avoid Ohio at all costs.
bigotry is rampant, carried on to the extremes, and criminals commit offenses against the innoccent WITH THE AID OF LOCAL, COUNTY, STATE AND FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT. Not only does the police aid criminal activity, they engage in it.
The courts are just as corrupt. I’ve witnessed judges totally ignore the law, trample over constitutional rights, and even manipulate witnesses into pergery.
I know one person who was refused a lawyer for a criminal trial. The criminal charges were falsified by the state, he had witnesses to this fact, they were forbidden to testify, and when he requested a jury, the judge whould not allow it.
I’ve witnessed lawyers on opposite sides co-conspireing against either a defendent or plaintiff.
Sherrifs are making drug raids and distributing a small share among their buddies. I know one that has links to such activity. the feds say this is perfectly legal.
My vehical was stolen. All law enforcement claim that grand theft auto is perfectly legal.
I have been physically and sexually abused, and when I cried out for help, they told me that RAPE WAS LEGAL!
In the state of Ohio if you don’t have a huge bank account, you are treated as a sub-human. Never in my life have I seen so many PUNKS in charge of on large mass of land as I do now, so soon I will be leaving this punk-with-a-badge infested state without even a hesitation.
I heard people are leaving in record numbers. I hope it’s true, maybe if all decent people leave, that will leave the corrupt alone with the criminals, and they will inilhilate each other since they won’t have us to victimize any more.

Of course that will never happen.

Anonymous said...

yes i lost my brother in feb.and my mother in may,and the state of ohio is wanting costs for medecare,and they are american cit,,bob taft stole thousands of dollars from ohio and they give him a good job,, at a collage yet,,and all kinds of money to arabs,muslumes,all the people that hate us, but screw the american cit,,,

Anonymous said...

I'm an Ohio resident who does a fair bit of traveling. I have to say that one of the worst feelings in the world is coming back to Ohio. The second you arrive you're surrounded by thugged-out wiggers, unending road construction, people that can't drive, and abandoned factories or cornfields. I hate it. Its no wonder that something like 80% of the people that Graduate from The University of Akron leave the state within 5 years.

Spatula said...

I've driven across Ohio four times in the past three weeks. Same idiocy: driving slow in the fast lane, letting 20-30 cars stack up in the fast lane as one guy drives the same speed as the guy in the slow lane, and significantly altering their speed. I would like to see the drivers in Ohio use two pieces of equipment on their cars: the rear view mirror and cruise control.

Anonymous said...

I have to say that you folks obviously don't get around much, or you are oblivious to your surroundings when you are elsewhere. I have lived on the East coast, the West coast and here in Ohio for most of my life. There are bad drivers in every state of the union, there is political corruption everywhere, there are ignorant pea-brains and bigots everywhere. It seems that some you people on the internet who complain that Ohio is so bad, and that are people are bigots and close minded people here in Ohio should take a closer look in the mirror. You are complaining of the same things you protest. Ohio is a great state to raise a family, I lived in Maryland for 9 years and brought my young children back to the same state their parents were raised. Maryland has some of the highest drug rates and STD rates and murders rates in the country. Corrupt police chiefs and a city mayor under investigation. Complain if you want, this is a free country, but you might want to have your facts straight and your ducks in a row. And if I could also add, as a sexual assault nurse in the State of Ohio, the last time I checked, rape was not legal in any form, and we have one of the best states for victims of violent crimes both adult and children. Try looking at some of the positive sides for a change and focus some of that energy on something useful. You people must be sad, miserable human-beings!

Spatula said...

Don't hate Maryland; I rather like Maryland. My post is simply about the bad drivers and the atrocious conditions of the interstate system in Ohio. As such, I have driven across fourteen states in the past two months (I guess I get around), and I think the same sort of narcissism I see in my students is reflected more and more on our highways. So many drivers now drive in the fast lane, but driving so slow they have cars backed up, in some cases, for miles behind them. They don't care because they are the center of the world. Here's an idea -- if you're not willing to commit to driving 80-85 miles per hour (faster than I drive), move over and let the line of traffic go by. Who are you to inconenience the dozens of persons you are delaying. Driving too slow in the fast lane creates a rubber band effect where traffic suddenly slows (in some cases stops) and then speeds up again. The worst example I've seen of this was between Birmingham and Tuscaloosa, AL, where traffic went from 80 to zero to 80 to zero in about a half mile. Over a twenty mile stretch, this caused at least 12 accidents. This happened to me on 11 July on I-12 in LA. I hope that the idiots who were causing the rubber-band effect on the west bound lanes that afternoon suffer some horrible malady (like constant jock itch). Texas, howeve, might be my new Ohio. The usual complaints of driving slow in the passing lane, randomly changing speeds or jumping on their brakes for no reason, and great stretches of highway closed for repairs with nobody working on them. In fact, there were miles of highways with no machinary in sight. What do you guys in Texas do -- work on a highway until you run our of money and then stop for months or years? The worst case of highway narcissism I've seen this summer was in TX where woman driving a minivan would not move out of the passing lane so an ambulance (with its lights flashing) could get by. Surprisingly, she was talking on a cell phone. And, just so we complete the circle of idiocy, she had LA plates on her car.

Anonymous said...

Fuck off.
Sincerely, Ohio.

Spatula said...

Thanks for proving my point.

John said...

haha Ohio? seriously, you guys think ohio has bad traffic..lol that's amazing. I moved to ohio (which I wasn't to happy about) awhile ago from Houston Texas and now I live near the wright pat base. Out of curiousity I was just wondering, have you people lived in one place your whole life? If you have that proves alot of things.

For one, bad drivers are everywhere. Secondly, I've moved many times and each time I move, people in that state always complain about how they have the worst educational systems in the country.Also corruption is everywhere, life is suffering, it doesn't matter whether you live in ohio or california; people share the same problems.

I have to say though, Texas has horrible traffic/drivers compared to Ohio. Ohio is like heaven in relation to the hell in texas. In 2004 I remember that the houston construction workers built a bridge that took three years! three! to complete. And it cost a good chunk of the tax payers money. by the end it was finished, they realized it was to narrow for a bus to turn into it! ridiculous right...

If you guys think Ohio's hell, you'd never last in Texas.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with the person who said your complaining about the exact thing you are doing. Have you heard of LA? Of NYC? Yah Ohio traffic is so horrible. Please LA takes hours to manage through. Vermont is a bad state to raise your kids in or theres colorado. Where people comit acts of crime against kids and get off with a warning. Ya so Ohio is like every other state, well not as bad as some. Yet for some reason you wannna pick on its flaws when there is far far worse, give it up the arguement gonna end and you aren't going to win.

Spatula said...

Who held a gun to your held and told you to search "I hate Ohio"?

Ms. Myrna said...

Ohioans suck more than the state. There are a bunch of Ohioans that move to my area of Maryland and I wish that they would just all move back.

Spatula said...

Individually, the folks in Ohio are just fine. My sole point is that, per capita, they are terrible drivers with even worse interstate highways. But, after recent experiences, Texas might be worse.

Spatula said...

People are getting way too nasty in their comments. One of my best friends lives in Ohio, and I don't like some of the rude comments being posted. I will delete uncivil posts from now on.

Shareifa'rrah said...

IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A FRIENDLY PLACE TO VISIT I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU STAY THE HELL OUT OF OHIO! I'M NOT SAYING EVERYONE IS RUDE AND IGNORANT BUT WHAT I AM SAYING IS EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT I HAVE ENCOUNTERED AND FRIENDS OF MINE AS WELL HAVE EXPERIENCED THE SAME UNFRIENDLY UNWELCOMING RUDE INCONSIDERATE BEHAVIOR FROM ALL THE OHIOANS WE'VE ENCOUNTERED. IT'S BAD ENOUGH IT'S BORING, A LOT OF PEOPLE THERE CANNOT SEEM TO DRIVE CIVILLY HONESTLY THEY ARE JUST FLAT OUT RUDE FOR NO REASON AT ALL YOU WOULD THINK AS JACKED UP AND AS MESSED UP AS THERE ECONOMY IS THAT THEY WOULD WELCOME VISITORS FROM OTHER PLACES WITH OPEN ARMS SEEING THAT A LOT OF THERE OWN RESIDENTS (THE SMART ONES) ARE RELOCATING TO OTHER PLACES. THE JOB MARKET SUCKS. AND THE HOUSES LOOK LIKE CRAP AND NOT TO MENTION JUST ABOUT ALL OF THEM LOOK LIKE GHOST HOUSES . NO WONDER THEY ARE ANGRY I WOULD BE ANGRY TOO. HELL I COULDN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF THERE THOSE PEOPLE THERE I NEVER SEEN SUCH IGNORANT ILL-MANNERED PEOPLE IN MY LIFE I WOULD NEVER RAISE MY KIDS THERE UNLESS I JUST WANTED TO RAISE A BUNCH OF MINIS TO SOCIETY I'VE TRAVELED MANY PLACES AND BY FAR AND THATS THE WORST PLACE I EVER BEEN TO IN MY LIFE THAT'S THE CLOSEST PLACE TO HELL IF THEY WANTED TO GO TO A HELL SIMULATOR OHIO WOULD BE THE PERFECT PLACE BECAUSE OHIOANS IN MY OPINION ARE THE RUDEST PEOPLE I EVER MET I'M SORRY TO SAY. THEY NEED TO GET IT TOGETHER.

Spatula said...

Comments are closed.