Friday, July 17, 2009

Cap-and-Trade for Idiots

The “American Clean Energy and Security Act of 2009” (HR2454) has passed the House of Representatives and is now working its way quickly through the Senate. The Act, in part, controls the emission of green house gasses based on the notion of cap-and-trade. The basic idea behind cap-and-trade can be a bit confusing, so here’s a simple lesson in the way it works. Cap-and-trade requires those businesses who produce a great deal of green house gasses while actually producing things (for example, electric utilities powering all the plug-in electric cars ) to buy “credits” from those businesses that don’t produce much so they don’t produce many green house gasses. Let’s say company “A” produces 50 units of green house gasses (what those units are doesn’t matter; let’s call them death bombs). Meanwhile, company “B” produces 20 death bombs. The government decides that no company, no matter what they produce, can make more than 40 death bombs. So, company “A” must buy 10 credits worth of death bombs from company “B.” Has this reduced the overall number of death bombs? Has this reduced global warming (sorry, climate change – the theory that explains everything)? No, merely shuffled them from one place to another. There are still 70 death bombs being produced.

Here’s the fun part. Somebody has to broker the sale of death bomb credits, just like somebody brokers the sale of orange juice or hog bellies. In this case, the death bombs will be brokered by Generation Investment Management, LLP. The chairman and co-founder of Generation Investment Management is Nobel Prize winner (not Irena Sendler), Al Gore.

Of course, Gore will profit greatly from his good work saving us from imminent incineration because of all the death bombs in the atmosphere. But he’s not the only one.

In June 2007 and again in February 2008 Generation Investment Management contributed $28,500 to the Democratic National Committee.

So that’s cap-and-trade for idiots. Some unkind souls might call it money laundering funds extorted from American businesses for the DNC, but it’s really to Secure us from all the death bombs.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

In Memoriam You Idiot

Did you know that Michael Jackson died? It’s been on the news a few times. Now, I understand the hyperbole inherent in funerary orations. After all, a number of idiots spoke about what a great president Richard Nixon had been after he passed on to what I hope is his just reward (think warm). However, the orations at Jackson’s going away party might have embarrassed a Roman emperor.

During the several eulogies, he was frequently called the greatest dancer who ever lived. His signature move was the “Moonwalk.” However, this dance was first performed by tap dancers over 50 years ago. So much for the greatest dancer. Other eulogists, overcome with Jackson’s greatest, asserted that he was the greatest entertainer of all time. In 2004, Rolling Stone magazine contained an article entitled, “The Immortals: The First Fifty” listing the top 50 rock-and-roll entertainers of all time. Michael Jackson ranked 35th behind Johnny Cash (#31), Bo Diddley (#20), and The Beatles (#1) among others. So much for the greatest rock-and-roll entertainer (let alone greatest entertainer).

Don’t worry. In the face of reality, we can always count on the government to step in and revise reality. Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee has introduced House Resolution 600 recognizing Jackson as “an American legend.” Naturally, this resolution will be debated in the House Foreign Affairs Committee. Yes we can – legislate reality.

We have been saturated by the media with report after report of the passing of Michael Jackson. There have been and, for the foreseeable future, there will be tributes to his greatness. This media adulation becomes more disturbing if we compare it to the coverage of the passing of somebody who was … what’s the term? … important. Compare the coverage to that of the passing of Ronald Reagan. Reagan was not the best president we ever had, but he, along with Margaret Thatcher and John Paul II ended the Cold War (see, John O’Sullivan, The President, the Pope, and the Prime Minister). It says something about our twisted culture and the equally twisted media that reports on it that somebody who helped end a conflict that could have ended the human race is less worthy of attention than a little, weirdo-bizarro, infantile pederast.